Re: Sarah Palin

I've had some time to gather my thoughts on Sarah Palin and what it means for her to be the on the GOP ticket.

While it is certainly a surprise that the GOP chose a female candidate, their choice is far from being as progressive as so many people are hailing it to be. Below is a list of all the issues that make her not progressive/a list of what we do not want in a leader.

1. She is anti-choice. (Even in cases of rape and incest.)

2. She is working to elect a major player in the good-old-boys network. (Which she claims to be adamantly against.)

3. She says she is against big oil yet has no environmental consciousness. (she is responsible for miles of pipelines and drilling currently being allowed in Alaska and pushes increased drilling, fishing, and mining.)

4. She was chosen, in part, because of her looks and the fact that when commentators and/or opposition candidates comment on that it makes them out to be shallow and/or sexist.

5. She is trying to take the "Hillary vote" away- to draw in their supporters.

6. She is very young and very inexperienced (used as a way to show all that McCain isn't, perhaps?).

7. In her acceptance speech she drew on the strength of the woman's suffrage movement as well as several well-known democratic woman candidates. She claims to be a proud feminist yet has many very un-feminist views.

8. She's very evangelical. We don't need another administration that is leading this country into war because of their personal/religious crusades.

9. Her 18 year-old son is in the Army. Enlisted on 09/11/2007, will be deployed 09/11/2008. Does anyone else smell a media/political stunt here?

10. She is very anti-LGBTQ (voted for DOMA and against partner health benefits).

11. She is pro-death-penalty.

12. She helped put in a legal motion to overturn listing the Polar Bear as an endangered species.

13. She is a member of the NRA, supports youth using guns, and opposed gun bans in large cities.

14. She is strongly in favor of teacher-led prayer in public schools.

15. She believes that drug use is "immoral". (She herself has used pot but said "she didn't like it.")

I'm not even going to address John McCain. His short-comings are (or should be) very plain to see.

A few Electoral Comments

I've been listening today to the speeches made by McCain & Co as well as by Obama & Co. I've heard a lot of "I will, I will, I will" but so far I haven't heard any of the "This is how I will." Loft goals and lots of promises but no directions or plans for how these goals will be met.

And while I'm at it, McCain's choice of VP has been very strategically done. On paper she appears to be everything McCain isn't as well as recapturing everything Obama and Clinton were promising. In reality though, she isn't and doesn't. The choice of Sarah Palin as VP is a low-ball tactic. In the first 15 minutes of her speech she had already spoken every cliche there is as well as espousing all the wrong things. Yuck. I'm glad to see that there are many women who are recognizing that, although Palin is a woman, she doesn't represent the interests of women. Palin argues against the good-old-boy network yet she is a willing pawn in that network. How sad. 

I'm sure there will be more to come (both from the media and from me) in the near future on all this. Stay tuned.

Railroad Sabotage

Henry David Thoreau wrote in his book "The Flowering of America" about a railroad. He spoke of how we are so obsessed with technology and advancement that we fail to realize that "we don't ride upon the railroad, it rides upon us." Thoreau was writing about the class/social struggles of America in the early 1900's. He could just have accurately be talking about America today, though. So, in the tradition of Joe Hill, Mother Jones, Emma Goldman, Utah Phillips, and all the other people who organized and stood up for their fellow workers in protest, I think it's time class/social issues come back up to the surface in a real way.

Sometimes I stop and wonder why there hasn't really been any revolutionaries that have come forward of late, why there hasn't been a consciousness of all that we've faced and continue to face. And then I realize that it's because the government has gotten much much better at keeping an eye on that sort of thing. Most recently, things started welling up and it only took a well-timed conspiracy and the collapse of two American towers to refocus all of America on the country, not the people. That's when things got a little dicey. 

Lacking someone tangible to blame and punish, the government had to cook up scheme after scheme to keep America at war, to keep it from stopping to realize what was going on, to keep the American minds occupied with thought's other than of themselves and their conditions. It didn't work though. I think the American people are also getting much much better at keeping an eye on these sort of things. We realized that the war in Iraq wasn't about liberating the Iraqis or about protecting America. It was about protecting American interests. After all, the government is and always has been most interested in the stability of it's corporations, conglomerations, banks, and bureaucrats. It's for the benefit of a small group of bloated, balding, middle-aged men. That's why favor for the war dropped off so sharply and why it continues to be so unpopular- the American people realize it wasn't done for them and that they will be picking up the check at the end of the banquet.

Could it be that we're finally starting to realize that all the phony elections, the sex scandals, the gay-marriage bans, the retail hype, the bridge openings, the building dedications, the bill signings, etc- they're all a distraction. They're all a way for the people to think that they are included- that their opinions matter. 

I was excited when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans causing so much destruction. Of course I felt bad for the damage done and the people hurt and displaced. But I was sitting on edge waiting. It was the perfect stimulus needed to start something major. The Hurricane clearly demonstrated class and racial lines and biases. If anything, surely that would have created an uproar? While there was certainly some outcry, most simply held to the thought that we need to fix things and do what was needed so everything could go back to the way they were. And just as quickly the outcry died down.

I've been excited again recently about the upcoming election. We have one candidate who isn't white and one who represents everything that's held real America at bay since it's beginning. I've been sitting on edge waiting. It would be the perfect time to really get into some harrying debates about racial and class boundaries. It would be the perfect time to force the government to really look at and answer for the poor and low-income America. It would be- let me correct that- it is the perfect time to stir up the unrest and see where we can go with it. 

It's been upsetting, though, to see that at the same time we are all being groomed and prepped for the potential of another upcoming war of "solidarity". Be it Iran, China, Pakistan, Korea, Russia, where ever. It doesn't matter at this point. It's the tactics that matter- the intention behind it.

Thoreau went on to talk about the railroad, saying that each sleeper- each railroad tie- that the rails run across is really a person. That when the train comes across a sleeper who has arisen there is a huge fuss about it. And "I am glad to know that it takes a gang of men for every five miles to keep the sleepers down and level in their beds as it is, for this is a sign that they may sometime get up again."

Let's pause for a minute and see that the railroad, the machinations, the technologies, the government, the wars are really all riding on us. And then let's think about our revolutionary teachers from the early 1900's and decide how we're going to organize to throw the rails off of our backs.

THE Surgery

A good friend and I recently had a conversation about being trans and how our identities within the trans spectrum has affected our transitions. In talking, I came to a conclusion: while still recognizing that its tough to identify as transsexual, there are days when it would be easier to be able to identify as a transsexual given that identifying as genderqueer comes with no rules, no boundaries, no suggestions, no guidelines, no standards, no certainties. 

I think that one of the hardest aspects of identifying as genderqueer is knowing what that means in terms of transitioning and medical options. 

See, there are people who identify as women and identify with their vagina. These people are recognized as women. There are people who identify as women and identify with their penis. These people are often also recognized as women. There are people who identify as men who identify with their penis. These people are recognized as men. And there are people who identify as men who also identify with their vagina. These people are often also recognized as men. So what of someone who doesn't identify as a man or a woman and doesn't identify with either a penis or a vagina? Or just doesn't identify with the parts they were given at birth?

The Standards of Care (SOC) for a transsexual state that in order to gain access to genital reconstructive surgery (more commonly known as SRS or as THE Surgery) they have to undergo therapy, gain a diagnosis as having gender identity disorder or body dysmorphia, hormone treatment, and a real life test. At the minimum.

So here's the rub: the SOC were designed for people who have a clear desire to move from being male to female or from being female to male. It doesn't give any room for someone who wants to go from male to neither or from female to neither (in terms of their physical body). The SOC and the medical world provide no option other than having a penis or a vagina. They also don't provide the option for someone who doesn't identify as female to get a vagina or for someone who doesn't identify as male to get a penis. What if someone doesn't identify with having a penis and wants a vagina simply as an alternative? What if someone doesn't identify with having a vagina and wants a penis simply as an alternative? The SOC would frown upon this quite heavily.

This is where we enter a grey area. Genital mutilation and body modification happens all the time, especially in the trans community by people who feel like they have no other options. They recognize that it's hard to access the SOC and that for many the SOC don't apply. It becomes a situation of desperation. What else can they do? Of course, for people who were given a penis, the act of genital mutilation could produce a result of having no penis or scrotum but also no vagina or clitoris or lips. That's something. And can that really be considered a mutilation if it is simply just a correction of a mishap at birth? Of course, the problem with this method is that it's very dangerous (infections, and blood loss, etc). It also produces someone who is sexually unresponsive to many methods/forms of sex. It's unfortunate on both accounts. 

So here's where I think a change needs to be made. The SOC should be opened up so that rather than gatekeeping and limiting the number and type of people who can access services, they should recognize the diversity found in the trans community and provide options for their services as well. Stop limiting who can and can't get a vagina or a penis- there are lots of us who want to be sexual, just not with the parts we currently have. We also want to be able to have a set of parts that we feel comfortable with and can grow to identify with having. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

Radical Directions

I attended a meeting tonight who's purpose was to help identify what direction Basic Rights Oregon would be taking in the next 5 years. The list that was created was pretty standard: education, healthcare, workplace issues, documentation issues, etc. It took 2 hours to create that list. At the end everyone was given the chance to put in one last comment about the direction things would/should be taking. Several commented that since this is the first year that there hasn't been an anti-LGBTQ proposal for the upcoming elections that we should be taking steps now to be radical, to push the envelope, and to make the progress that we've been wanting and needing.

I agree that, void of any other taxing concerns/pesky legislation, now is the perfect time to forge ahead and really create some change on our own terms. The issue becomes what should we forge ahead with? What would be considered radical? Providing education to the public in general is not radical. Even providing education to specific professions (such as police officers, EMT's, etc) is not radical. Passing an inclusive national non-discrimination law that specifically mentions gender-identity is not radical. Promoting marriage equality is not radical. Providing support in places of employment for people who are transitioning and support for people to get their documentations amended is not radical. Even removing the current hoops that transfolk have to jump through to get hormones and/or surgery is not radical. All of these things should be common sense. People need to understand what LGBTQ is and to understand that this community is not a threat. Transfolk should feel comfortable to be themselves at work. Transfolk need to have access to their own ID's and documents that shows a congruence with who they really are. People should have control over their own bodies. It should all be a given. And givens aren't radical.

So what would be really radical? What would really push the envelope? We could always push to knock all gender designations off of identification forms. That would certainly reduce a lot of issues for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. We could push for better research into techniques for trans fertility/reproduction and gene-therapy... allow for more than just an outward physical transition.

I think that ultimately the most radical thing that could be done is to get us to the point where none of this really matters anymore. Where people can just be. Where there won't be discrimination or hatred or violence or intolerance of any kind simply because someone is LGBTQ. (I realize that is point in my rant sounds really single-issue focused. It might read that way but in my head I'm also thinking about the end of discrimination, hatred, violence, intolerance, etc based on race, ethnicity, creed, religion, health status, mental health status, ability level, age, gender, class, education level, body stature, etc). Idealist? Yes. Realistic? Not if we don't believe it's possible. Radical? Oh yes!

Woe Is Not Me

All the time I hear complaints such as “God doesn’t exist- I wouldn’t have been put in this body otherwise” or “God must have been sleeping on watch when I was made because He got it all wrong.” I disagree with both sentiments. I believe that God does exist and that She didn’t get it all wrong. At the same time, I want to clarify that I also don’t agree with political views that “our adversity makes us stronger and so without these struggles we would be less than who we are today.” 

I think those viewpoints are a wonderful way of exempting the speakers from examining what is really going on and from having a much needed conversation. This is further reinforced for me in that, void of the struggle of being trans, there is always some other dynamic by which we are being marginalized and thus challenged to step up and expand who we are.

I know right now some of you are probably thinking, “but what about the most waspy republicans in our country- how are they being marginalized since they aren’t on  most of the spectrums? First off, don’t think for a second that republicans, wasps, or even waspy republicans don’t fit  into the queer spectrum. Second, they are republican wasps and with their leader (G.W. Bush) at an all time low in public approval ratings, they clearly aren’t the majority (no matter how loudly they proclaim that they are). They know this- that’s why they fight so hard to do what they do. No one has it completely made. Privilege works well for many but not perfectly, not even just for a few. 

So, if God didn’t get it all wrong, and we’ve all been put where we were supposed to be and in the bodies we were supposed to have been given, what does that mean? Should we just accept it all and complacently live out our time? NO! I’ve always believed that life is what you make of it (and no, that isn’t the same sentiment as the “American Dream”- some things ARE out of reach for most people no matter how hard they try, it’s just the way the system is set up). Your outlook on life makes the difference in how you experience that life. If everything appears to be doom and gloom then all you will get is hardships. If you can acknowledge the sun shining every now and then, you’ll get some good times too. 

Not to get religious here, but the Bible does speak about knocking and the door will be opened, ask and it shall be given. Those verses don’t speak specifically to salvation. They also speak to your lot in life. So, take your experience and let it be a guide for shaping your future, rather than letting your past shape you. Change your body if it doesn’t suit you.  The same holds true for the system that clearly doesn't work for so many. If we want it to work for us we have to change it- not try to join it. Resistance, whether just in our own bodies or against "the man" is one step forward. Make things work for you because it doesn't "all come with good time". You have to go get it!

Put Together to Fall Apart

It seems that there is a big misunderstanding going on in the trans community. The main premise behind the misunderstanding is this: the individual trans folks look at the others and think that all the others have everything so well put together- have everything figured out, but they themselves don't. So which is it? Are we all so well put together, are we all beyond help, or are we all just really good at pretending and putting on a good face? I think it's the last one, that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. It's just more obvious for some people.

This brings me to a second point of consideration. Quite often I hear/solicit people's opinions about media portrayals of transfolk. I have always found very mixed reviews. Some people look at movies, etc and say that it was very fictional and that the media just wanted to "put them through the wringer" for the sake of showing every bad possibility that could happen. Other people (myself often included) look at the same movies, etc and say that while the story is often glamorized, they quite often are very accurate portrayals of what so many of us go through. So, is this just a small difference of opinion or is it a huge difference of privilege and experience? I believe it's the latter. 

So, the moral of the story? I could spout off some rhetoric about everyone being different and about the need to understand other people's position in life. I'd rather leave it all for you to think about for yourself though. Feel free to leave a comment about what you've come to in conclusions.

"To be a professional actor, you have to play people you don't like. God knows I play one everyday." -David Rider

Tarot Readings

From time to time I have delved into the realm of the Tarot cards. Nothing formal. Nothing too serious. Just an interest- a boost to meditation. Tonight I ran three readings- 2 for friends and 1 for myself. If nothing else it left me worn out. I knew that reading the tarot takes some energy- but back to back readings for other people and then yourself is particularly draining. I think what made it even harder tonight was that I was doing readings for people who are close to me- who I care for deeply. I'd like to think that my own energies didn't play into their readings- that they didn't alter the interpretations or the spread. But I know it did, even if just a little. 

I think that the most upsetting part of it all was that my readings tonight were very accurate. I wrote an email to someone special this morning, pouring out my heart. And tonight I got that email back almost word for word in my reading. Sometimes it really hurts being so accurate. The positive spin on it all is that at least this affirmation means I'm not making everything up. It also means that knowing the possible outcome will enable me to make choices to avoid it. Knowing is half the battle, no? The final word on tonight was that "nobody knows the future". Thankfully, that's true. Now, to be masters of our own destiny...

влюбленность все еще там

So here we are. On the same page moving at different paces. I was ready to turn the page- to see what happened next. You were still reading though. And that's ok. I liked that page a lot and wouldn't mind rereading it again. I thought about giving you the clif-notes to get you caught up but it wouldn't work to do so. There are things you need to read and understand for yourself. Maybe I'll just sit and think for a while and wait till you are ready to turn the page. I can't imagine picking up a better book anyway.

Down

I really needed to cry.

But I didn't need to be crushed to do it.

I really wanted to cry.

But I forgot the pain that goes with it.

I really like crying.

But the tears still sting.

And now with a reason for it,

I don't want to cry.

But there's nothing I can do about it.

And so I'm filled with tears.

A Moment Alive

Missed connections finally connecting.

Alone together with no demands.

No expectations.

The air is tingling.

To feel silly again, 

Like a child who doesn't know what to do.

And then there's the warmth. 

Waves of it, gently washing over me.

Coming from you.

It's such a peaceful feeling.

Your arms around me.

I could lie down and sleep right there.

Your breath on my neck.

I could stay there forever.

But the moment passes quickly,

Leaving anticipation of our next meeting.

"Ceremony wastes queer culture.

Kiss, feel, want your trans preference."-CSB

Penis Prohibition

My housemate and I were chatting this afternoon and we came up with a rule of thumb that could greatly benefit society. In fact this rule of thumb is so far-reaching that I'm confident that if would reduce the number of school and gang fights, reduce the amount of school bullying, reduce the level of rage/anger, and even increase productivity in society. Surprisingly, for the amount of complex problems it would fix, this rule of thumb is amazingly simple. So what is it? Here's the plan: No penis until you have a job*. 

*Some restrictions apply: in the event that job expectations are not met, all offers will be revoked and considered void. This rule of thumb applies to anyone requesting/owning a penis, gender not-specific.

Life is a Song...

What is the appeal of musicals? It seems that at some point or other every topic imaginable has been used in or turned completely into a musical. Most TV shows at some point create a musical episode (usually with really lame songs done in an overly campy manner). I recently found out that there is even a musical about the only person  in America to be convicted of cannibalism (and I have plans to go see it soon too)! Some have tackled some really serious topics and helped present them in a light more easily stomached for the general audience, such as Rent. Some have been done mostly just for fun (and for the cult following), such as Rocky Horror. Wicked is a musical done as a horribly botched-up rendition of the book. And on and on and on. But again, what is the appeal? No one in real life bursts out in song during a fight, during dinner, during sex, or even during work. Well, at least not to sing a narrative of the story line... I do know people who burst out singing all the time. But that adds spice, not a necessary cue for the audience. Oh well, I guess I don't know why musicals continue to be so popular. Maybe I'll figure it out while watching Cannibal as the blood starts spilling in time to a song...