Olympic Injustice

Every 4 summers there is a barbaric ritual that occurs involving millions of people from all over the world. It’s happening again this summer in Bejing, China. No, I’m not talking about the Olympics (although it in itself is rather barbaric). I’m talking about the practice of gender testing done on the athletes who are considered “suspect”. This practice has been done since the early 60’s after fear that USSR athletes were really men competing in the women’s divisions so they would have a better chance of winning. 

The actual history of the Olympic gender testing is very disturbing. From forcing the female athletes to parade nude in front of a panel of judges to chromosomal testing to todays standard where the athletes are evaluated by an endocrinologist, gynecologist, a geneticist and a psychologist. One of the more upsetting sides to all this is that since it’s start, gender testing has never led to the disqualification of any athlete. A handful have been found to have been born as intersex. One has had her eligibility revoked and then later reinstated. But no one has been found to be the wolf in sheep’s clothing that everyone was so frenzied over. In fact, the only Olympic athlete to ever be found competing in the “wrong” division was a male German athlete who was forced by the Nazi’s to compete in women’s sports. And that account only came out years later when the athlete disclosed it all himself. 

There is a lot of outcry over the gender testing. There are a lot of people who understand the intricacies of sex and gender and know that there is no black and white. It always surprises me every time the Olympics come around to hear that this practice is still in place. I thought we had evolved more than this. Apparently not.

Attached to the header for this blog entry is a link to the New York Times article on the Olympic gender testing for any who are interested.

Evolution, Creation, Manifestation

1. Each moment in life is precious. All stages of growth are still growth and equally important.

2. Remember the Divine being that you are. You are strong and more resilient than you could imagine! Your inner spirit has unlimited abilities to heal and create.

3. Fear is a communicable disease. Be mindful against this. The force of love has the power to change limitations into unlimited possibilities.

4. Unfulfilled dreams may be because others involved are in fear or are having their own crisis. Dreams are an intricate chain of events that must all happen for it to come true. What can you do right now? Build your own manifestation bridge.

5. Turn off auto-pilot and intentionally examine what you are taking in (media specifically). Is it negative or playing the fear-based emotions?

6. If you get bored or lose sight, ask your spirit for reminders of the big picture beyond your current life.

7. Monitor your thoughts and emotions. Tend to those that create love and compassion. Refuse to act on those that create fear or negativity.

The Quiet Moments

1:30 in the morning. Still warm from a shared cup of tea. We sit talking in the soft glow of the lamps. I look up and you just smile. 2:00 and we walk down the street in silence. The night is chilling but it doesn’t bother us. There are noises. And people yelling in the distance. But they don’t bother us either. The world is at a distance as we bump into each other. 2:15 and we hug before parting ways. We both walk on our own. I turn to look back and you are already gone. All shadows now. And silence. The night closes in and sleep follows close behind. 9:00 and I wake to remember it was such a beautiful dream but for two used mugs sitting on the counter. And I smile before going back to bed.

Marriage Equality

Gay marriage (same-sex marriage) has been and continues to be a very hot topic. So hot, in fact, that G.W. Bush himself has stood in front of the nation and pushed his view that marriage is a holy union between only one man and one woman. Many opposed to marriage equality posit that marriage is a foundation of our society and that it always has been. They continue to claim that if they allowed marriage equality that it would be the start of a slippery slope- that it would be followed by polygamy, incest, pedophilia,  and bestiality. It’s frightening that those four ideas are where the conservatives’ minds immediately go to. Apparently they have never considered following Denmark’s example. In Denmark marriage equality has been around for a while now. Their definition of marriage is as between two consenting adults. That definition clarifies that polygamy is not an option (although opposing a Christian view against polygamy isn’t any more favorable than using that view against marriage equality), that definition clarifies that pedophilia is not an option, that definition clarifies that bestiality is not an option. And as for incest, we already have laws about how close in relation two people can be to still be eligible to marry each other.

Let’s consider for a moment where the institution of marriage gets it’s power from. Certainly a marriage receives blessings from the church/synagogue/mosque/coven/etc. Thankfully in America we have the freedom of religion so that our unions can be blessed by whatever religion or creed we follow. We don’t have to appeal to any one religion for that. And no one religion (and no group of religions) can cause those blessings to be withheld from someone else’s belief system. The real place that marriage gets it’s power from is the government. The government is providing the tax breaks, the inheritance rights, the visitation rights, insurance rights, custody rights, etc. Marriage truly is a secular institution. And yet our government is currently hiding behind religion for why they don’t allow marriage equality.

Marriage equality has been achieved in some places. Massachusetts has legalized gay marriage for 5 years now. California recently approved gay marriage (again... maybe it’ll stick this time). And Hawaii too. Oh, wait. Hawaii rescinded their laws for marriage equality back in the ’90’s. And of course, there’s Vermont. Vermont has amazing laws about legal unions. But, oh yeah, domestic partnerships and civil unions are not marriage and they don’t provide the same rights and privileges thereof.

So yes! Marriage equality is the thing to fight for! Marriage equality is the top issue that we should be focused on achieving! Well, that is if you are a staunch follower of the Human Rights Coalition. Sadly, the HRC does not speak for everyone it should be. See, marriage is not the grand end-all and be-all it so often is purported to be. I heard someone say it quite well recently when they expressed that gay marriage will not solve all the problems. It won’t even solve the problem of health insurance. Since most people tend to marry within their same social standing/social class, allowing two people who already have health insurance to get married doesn’t help anyone with health coverage. And allowing two people who have no health coverage to get married doesn’t help either of them with health coverage. Similarly, the other benefits of marriage are little help to those already without much to begin with and the benefits are of little consequence to those who already have enough.

All of that to say what? Let’s get marriage equality but let’s also push just as strongly for individual safety. For national employment and public accommodation non-discrimination of both sexual orientation and gender identity. For improved transgender health access and resources. For everyone in the queer/gay/trans community.

Getting Dated.

A friend and I were chatting recently about dating. Not about us dating, that is, but about the dating scene in general. We discussed how difficult it is for transfolk to really find someone worth dating. Worth dating in more than just the “they’re a great person” sense but rather in a “they’ll be ok with me” sense. We chatted about how the gay men are out of the picture because, well... they’re looking for other gay men. Not us transfolk. Same goes for the lesbian community. And, of course, dating the non-queer populace has historically ended up in the brutal murders of many in our community. So who does that leave? Well, it leaves the option for transfolk to date transfolk. That option doesn’t seem to be very popular though, as it seems so many transfolk are too intent on trying to blend in- to pass- that they don’t want the added “hassle” of their partner getting read and thus they too will be read as trans.

So, dating outside of the queer community is sort-of out of the question (although there are plenty of “tranny-chasers” as well as the occasional genuine lover). It also seems that, for the most part, dating within the queer community is also sort-of out of the question. If that wasn’t enough, there is also the remaining issue how we all identify on the trans spectrum. After all, that’s kind-of what’s causing the dating issues in the first place. Does the trans individual’s identity allow for them to access the dating world? “I’ve spent days intently watching the people around me, always wondering, ‘Am I passing for [insert gender here]? And if so, how long will it last until they know?’ After this, it’s hard to feel erotic and whole.” -Marcus Rene Van

There is a motto that I really like. One that I think would be amazingly beneficial for all of us if people in both the queer and non-queer communities would adopt: “Your gender doesn’t matter so long as you are intriguing. The package simply adds texture.” -Michael Hernandez

“At this point in the conversation, my friend tried to play what he probably thought was his trump card. He asked me, ‘Well, what if you found out the trans woman you were attracted to still had a penis?’ I laughed and replied that I am attracted to people, not to disembodied body parts. And I would be a selfish, ignorant, and unsatisfying lover if I believed that my partner’s genitals existed primarily for my pleasure rather than her own. All that you ever need to know about genitals is that they are made up of flesh, blood, and millions of tiny, restless nerve endings- anything else that you read into them is mere hallucination, a product of your own overactive imagination.” -Julia Serano

Getting Carded (Again)

In May I posted an account about getting carded for using my own credit card. I thought it was a quaint experience that wouldn't really ever come up again. That it was a fluke. I was wrong. 

This past weekend I ran into a local store to pick up some items. They all got rang through and I swiped my credit card. The cashier handed me the slip to sign and upon getting it back she told me that because the card was in the name of "Joseph" that she would have to get the manager to approve it. Of course, she was assuming that it wasn't my credit card. She never asked me what my name was. She didn't even check to see if the signature I just gave her matched the signature on the card. She immediately went for the most restrictive action based on her assumptions. Of course, she said all of this while staring at my breasts. 

It happened that on that day I wasn't in the mood to play around with people's assumptions. Rather, I just wanted to get through my day with a little hassle as possible. Looking back, I could have allowed the manager to come over and then caused a scene. But that probably wouldn't have pushed this cashier to rethink her assumptions as much as causing her to get defensive because I was creating a scene. Instead, I quickly told her that it was my card and gave her my ID. She quickly and quietly handed me my receipt and told me to have a good day. She then treated the next person in line (my fiend- we were there together) with a great deal of respect and tried not to bring up what had just happened.

Ah, c'est la vie. I guess it doesn't matter where I am- small town Maine or big city Oregon, there are people who just don't get it. Gives me more reason to keep up the effort though!

"New Tribal Revolution"

The Seven-Point Plan:

1. The revolution won't take place all at once. It's not going to be any sort of coup d'etat like the French of Russian revolutions.

2. It will be achieved incrementally, by people working off each other's ideas. This is the great driving innovation of the Industrial Revolution.

3. It will be led by no one. Like the Industrial Revolution, it will need no shepherd, no organizer, no spearhead, no pacesetter, no mastermind at the top; it will be too much for anyone to lead.

4. It will not be the initiative of any political, governmental, or religious body. Again, like the Industrial Revolution. Some will doubtless want to claim to be it's supporters and protectors; there are always leaders ready to step forward once others have shown the way.

5. It has no targeted end point. Why should it have an end point?

6. It will proceed according to no plan. How on earth could there be a plan?

7. It will reward those who further the revolution with the coin of the revolution. In the Industrial Revolution, those who contributed in the way of product wealth received much in the way of product wealth; in the New Tribal Revolution, those who contribute much in the way of support will receive much in the way of support.

Taken from "My Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn. Read it. Get to know Ishmael. Become B. Follow the link attached to this blog title to learn how to do more and get involved.

Kind of Like a Gold Star

You could have begged me to stay, but you didn’t.

And maybe that’s because you knew that I wouldn’t.

Now I’m a country away.

With little means for either of us to see the other.

But it seems silly to use that as a reason for forgetting.

A weak excuse for this disregard.

Could be there’s another reason.

Maybe it’s denial.

Maybe it’s anxiety.

Maybe it’s jealousy.

Maybe it’s fear.

Baby it’s all ok.

Things are gonna get better.

Or something like that.

You know the rest of the tune.

See it takes two to make a friendship.

But only one to hold the memories of it.

I haven’t forgotten.

Won’t be letting them go.

But I will share them again.

Some day.

If you want to remember.

Ya, and I hope you will.

Random encounter.

I was walking downtown and had a woman approach me. She proceeded to tell me that she was making her rent payments and was going places in the world and that she hasn't had to prostitute herself to do it! That was it. And then she walked away. 

I thought this wasn't something I could pass up. I had to share it. 

Faking out Gender

A while back, I had someone tell me that my “gender experiment” was unhealthy, was wrong, and that society would never accept it (or me). I found it amusing that this person, with no formal  education or training beyond high school, was telling me, a sociologist, what was going on in society. Aside from that laugh, this person was also telling me that what I was doing was wrong. The assumption is that it’s wrong because the doctor’s pronounced a sex assignment for me at birth and any attempt to alter or variate from that would be a lie, in their eyes at least. In short, they told me that any gender expression aside from the one that I had no choice in making wasn’t natural- that it was fake.

“By insisting that the trans person’s gender is ‘fake,’ they attempt to validate their own gender as ‘real’ or ‘natural.’ This sort of thinking is extraordinarily naive, as it denies a basic truth: We make assumptions every day about other people’s gender without ever seeing their birth certificates, their chromosomes, their genitals, their reproductive systems, their childhood socialization, or their legal sex. There is no such thing as a ‘real’ gender- there is only the gender we experience ourselves and the gender we perceive others to be.” -Julia Serano 

This brings up several great points: 1. Gender is really what we read into things. 2. Birth certificates, chromosomes, genitals, reproductive systems, childhood socialization, and legal sex do not tell a person’s gender. Any assumption about a person’s gender based on any of those things is just that- assumption; what we are reading into it. Only an individual can say what their gender is. Wait for them to identify that.

I tell people that, overall, someone who is transgender would be far more appreciative of being politely/respectfully/authentically asked what gender pronouns they prefer to use than to have that assumption made for them. I usually laugh at this point, though, and clarify that I don’t mean that you should go out and, while walking down the street, greet everyone with a handshake and ask “are you a man or a woman”? If you don’t need to know their gender identity (other than aside from your own curiosity) then you should question why you need to ask them about it. Roommates, lab-partners, close co-workers, in-laws, close neighbors, your hair stylist, people you will be addressing in everyday conversation on a regular basis... those are the people that it’s okay and best to make sure you’ve asked what pronouns they prefer to be addressed as. Strangers on the street, the cashier at your check-out line, the bus driver, the food-server at the restaurant, people you wouldn’t necessarily talk to (or see) on a regular basis... those are the people that you don’t need to know how they identify. If they want to talk about it, great! Listen to what they have to say and behave accordingly. Otherwise, leave your questions out of it. Does it really make a difference what their gender is? You wouldn’t  go down the street and ask people what their race was. Or what their religion was. Or if they were left handed or right handed. Or if they liked coffee instead of tea. Why should gender be any different? It’s just another one of those things that is. We all have a gender identity. Some of us have more than one. Any attempt to use those identities as a means of conferring status is reprehensible. Doing so only contributes to inequality and oppression.