Down

I really needed to cry.

But I didn't need to be crushed to do it.

I really wanted to cry.

But I forgot the pain that goes with it.

I really like crying.

But the tears still sting.

And now with a reason for it,

I don't want to cry.

But there's nothing I can do about it.

And so I'm filled with tears.

A Moment Alive

Missed connections finally connecting.

Alone together with no demands.

No expectations.

The air is tingling.

To feel silly again, 

Like a child who doesn't know what to do.

And then there's the warmth. 

Waves of it, gently washing over me.

Coming from you.

It's such a peaceful feeling.

Your arms around me.

I could lie down and sleep right there.

Your breath on my neck.

I could stay there forever.

But the moment passes quickly,

Leaving anticipation of our next meeting.

"Ceremony wastes queer culture.

Kiss, feel, want your trans preference."-CSB

Penis Prohibition

My housemate and I were chatting this afternoon and we came up with a rule of thumb that could greatly benefit society. In fact this rule of thumb is so far-reaching that I'm confident that if would reduce the number of school and gang fights, reduce the amount of school bullying, reduce the level of rage/anger, and even increase productivity in society. Surprisingly, for the amount of complex problems it would fix, this rule of thumb is amazingly simple. So what is it? Here's the plan: No penis until you have a job*. 

*Some restrictions apply: in the event that job expectations are not met, all offers will be revoked and considered void. This rule of thumb applies to anyone requesting/owning a penis, gender not-specific.

Life is a Song...

What is the appeal of musicals? It seems that at some point or other every topic imaginable has been used in or turned completely into a musical. Most TV shows at some point create a musical episode (usually with really lame songs done in an overly campy manner). I recently found out that there is even a musical about the only person  in America to be convicted of cannibalism (and I have plans to go see it soon too)! Some have tackled some really serious topics and helped present them in a light more easily stomached for the general audience, such as Rent. Some have been done mostly just for fun (and for the cult following), such as Rocky Horror. Wicked is a musical done as a horribly botched-up rendition of the book. And on and on and on. But again, what is the appeal? No one in real life bursts out in song during a fight, during dinner, during sex, or even during work. Well, at least not to sing a narrative of the story line... I do know people who burst out singing all the time. But that adds spice, not a necessary cue for the audience. Oh well, I guess I don't know why musicals continue to be so popular. Maybe I'll figure it out while watching Cannibal as the blood starts spilling in time to a song...

Olympic Injustice

Every 4 summers there is a barbaric ritual that occurs involving millions of people from all over the world. It’s happening again this summer in Bejing, China. No, I’m not talking about the Olympics (although it in itself is rather barbaric). I’m talking about the practice of gender testing done on the athletes who are considered “suspect”. This practice has been done since the early 60’s after fear that USSR athletes were really men competing in the women’s divisions so they would have a better chance of winning. 

The actual history of the Olympic gender testing is very disturbing. From forcing the female athletes to parade nude in front of a panel of judges to chromosomal testing to todays standard where the athletes are evaluated by an endocrinologist, gynecologist, a geneticist and a psychologist. One of the more upsetting sides to all this is that since it’s start, gender testing has never led to the disqualification of any athlete. A handful have been found to have been born as intersex. One has had her eligibility revoked and then later reinstated. But no one has been found to be the wolf in sheep’s clothing that everyone was so frenzied over. In fact, the only Olympic athlete to ever be found competing in the “wrong” division was a male German athlete who was forced by the Nazi’s to compete in women’s sports. And that account only came out years later when the athlete disclosed it all himself. 

There is a lot of outcry over the gender testing. There are a lot of people who understand the intricacies of sex and gender and know that there is no black and white. It always surprises me every time the Olympics come around to hear that this practice is still in place. I thought we had evolved more than this. Apparently not.

Attached to the header for this blog entry is a link to the New York Times article on the Olympic gender testing for any who are interested.

Evolution, Creation, Manifestation

1. Each moment in life is precious. All stages of growth are still growth and equally important.

2. Remember the Divine being that you are. You are strong and more resilient than you could imagine! Your inner spirit has unlimited abilities to heal and create.

3. Fear is a communicable disease. Be mindful against this. The force of love has the power to change limitations into unlimited possibilities.

4. Unfulfilled dreams may be because others involved are in fear or are having their own crisis. Dreams are an intricate chain of events that must all happen for it to come true. What can you do right now? Build your own manifestation bridge.

5. Turn off auto-pilot and intentionally examine what you are taking in (media specifically). Is it negative or playing the fear-based emotions?

6. If you get bored or lose sight, ask your spirit for reminders of the big picture beyond your current life.

7. Monitor your thoughts and emotions. Tend to those that create love and compassion. Refuse to act on those that create fear or negativity.

The Quiet Moments

1:30 in the morning. Still warm from a shared cup of tea. We sit talking in the soft glow of the lamps. I look up and you just smile. 2:00 and we walk down the street in silence. The night is chilling but it doesn’t bother us. There are noises. And people yelling in the distance. But they don’t bother us either. The world is at a distance as we bump into each other. 2:15 and we hug before parting ways. We both walk on our own. I turn to look back and you are already gone. All shadows now. And silence. The night closes in and sleep follows close behind. 9:00 and I wake to remember it was such a beautiful dream but for two used mugs sitting on the counter. And I smile before going back to bed.