Thinking too much.

I used to say that given enough free time I could eat myself alive with my thoughts. Now I think that it just doesn't matter. I'll eat myself alive anyhow. Its just more exhausting to do it without having much free time.

I think that modern life is unhealthy. You work all day and go home tired to eat till you feel like a pig and then go to bed. Wake up unrested and do it all over again. And then the weekends come around and there's so much to do that you couldn't get to over the week that your exhausted come Monday morning still. Even a weekend with nothing planned turns into lots going on. It's a nasty cycle.

I think that relationships take so much work. Friends, family, lovers, and otherwise. Sometimes I wonder if its worth the energy it takes to maintain those relationships- if I'd be better off spending that energy on myself. Sometimes I wonder how I can make more- that I don't have enough right now either. But again, coming back to the energy it takes to maintain- it takes even more to make a relationship. And since I'm not in college anymore I forgot how to. Maybe that's just as well.