A Dream

It was a clear night; the stars were shining. The earth was bathed in moonlight. It was one of those nights when you could feel an energy in everything around you- an energy that seemed to give everything an odd appearance. Void of clear light, objects still appeared in color; just not their "real" colors. There were old trees that shone of a yellow light, gravel that glowed a pale blue. Small vines gave off a red hue while their flowers cast an intense violet. The stars all twinkled, but not how they normally do. Tonight the stars seemed to be blinking on and off as if hyper-stimulated. A sweet scent drifted across the light breeze...a scent of no description other than pure joy and love.

I was walking down a railroad track, skipping from railroad tie to tie. I hummed a soft song to myself as I went along- but the song had no tune. It had no words. It just floated out of me as a song that just is. The farther I went the brighter all the colors became and the more intense the energy. I felt high, as if I was floating rather than stepping on the Earth.

After hours of euphoria I came to a clearing across a river. In the clearing there sat the white outline of a being. They were radiating light and energy. As I stood and watched, two dark figures crept up upon the being of light and in an instant there was nothing. Everything became dark. All colors faded, the air stood still, the moon darkened, all the stars seemed to have gone out. I could feel a drain in the energy from everything around me...and a drain of energy from me. I no longer felt joyous. And I felt no love. Anger began to swell up within me. Anger towards those dark figures.

As I stood there with my blood beginning to boil, I saw a single star shine brightly and begin to twinkle and dance. My anger gave way and I was moved to tears. The star reminded me that I still had life within me and I felt compassion for the white being that was gone and for the dark figures who knew not what they had extinguished. Upon this realization, every tear that fell from my face glowed with a dull blue light. I felt love moving from deep inside of me as it pushed out of me and into the world. I saw the colors return to my surroundings and I saw the stars and moon come out again.

The more my world was bathed in life and colors the more I understood that I wasn't dependant on the hope of meeting that figure of light who had sat across the river from me. I understood that I was that figure of light; had always been. The deeper I understood that, the more I realized that I was surrounded by figures of light. The world became a blur as everything faded into the bright light of all the beings surrounding me. My feet again lifted off the ground and I soared into the night sky... I became a beacon of light, though others might have only thought it was a shooting star.

Looking For Boots

SO, a couple weeks ago I took a female friend of mine out shopping. We went looking for boots. Rather, I went looking for boots; my friend was there to add to the sales confusion. But not just any boots. I was looking for women's stiletto boots that come up to your knees. You might laugh and ask yourself why I was looking for women's boots...but I ask back, "Why not?" I guess I should also clarify that my purpose wasn't really in getting the boot (although that would be a positive addition to my day if I did). I was going to see the reaction of the stores I shopped in.

First, I went to the shoe section of Filenes. I asked the salesperson for a specific boot in my size.When he came back from checking he said that Filenes didn't have any in the size asked for. I might add that he told that to my female friend. The salesperson then asked several other questions and offered other options; again, all directed at my friend even though I was the one answering the questions. I left bootless and even more interested in how the next place would react.

Next, I went to The Shoe Dept. While there I found a boot I was interested in and found a size just smaller than mine. A sales attendant walked by the aisle I was sitting in while trying to squeeze into the boot. She very quickly shuffled off to somewhere else. While I was still trying to get the boot on, a woman came into the aisle, went for the same type of boot I had and saw me. She huffed, looked disgusted and left the store. Again, I left without a boot.

Last, I went into Famous Footwear and asked to be directed to the boots I wanted. The two attendants were there alone and were very helpful in getting me to the aisle I needed. While I looked at the boots and tried on a couple pairs, my friend wandered around looking at sneakers. I could audibly hear the two attendants across the store whispering about me. They checked in on me once and then returned to their corner where a fresh round of giggles and whispers could be heard coming from. As I left I commented  to my friend about my disappointment in not finding the boot I wanted. Of course, I said it loud enough to be heard by the attendants and again I heard the murmers of their gossip as I walked out the door.

In the end, I didn't find the boots I wanted (at least not that fit me) but I did find that so many people are so uncomfortable with anything outside the ordinary. Why should it cause embarassment for someone when another person other than a woman tries on women's boots?