Follow up time... I went back to my town's public library tonight and unintentionally wore the same clothes as last time. When I got to the front desk the same woman as before was there. She obviously recognized me and very clearly asked twice, "Can I help you SIR?" (emphasis done by her.) She actually had to ask twice because I ignored her the first time; I thought she was talking to the other person who was waiting at the desk. So, I am feeling deflated....apparently my gender portrayal doesn't transcend the dichotomy afterall.
So, a large part of me wants to make a study out of this.... try some different methods of gender portrayal and see if I can mess her up again. I also really want to sit down with her and have a chat to find out how she has done processing these events.
As a side note, someone who read about these accounts has started calling me ma'am now. And although some might laugh, it actually provided me with a teaching moment when someone overheard this seemingly "wrong" exchange of pronouns. I took the chance to explain to them what had happened at the library on both times and a little about my thoughts on the gender system.
Who knows...one person at a time, I guess.
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