Rejecting ideas of gender Part 2- Follow Up..

Follow up time... I went back to my town's public library tonight and unintentionally wore the same clothes as last time. When I got to the front desk the same woman as before was there. She obviously recognized me and very clearly asked twice, "Can I help you SIR?" (emphasis done by her.) She actually had to ask twice because I ignored her the first time; I thought she was talking to the other person who was waiting at the desk. So, I am feeling deflated....apparently my gender portrayal doesn't transcend the dichotomy afterall.

So, a large part of me wants to make a study out of this.... try some different methods of gender portrayal and see if I can mess her up again. I also really want to sit down with her and have a chat to find out how she has done processing these events.

As a side note, someone who read about these accounts has started calling me ma'am now. And although some might laugh, it actually provided me with a teaching moment when someone overheard this seemingly "wrong" exchange of pronouns. I took the chance to explain to them what had happened at the library on both times and a little about my thoughts on the gender system.

Who knows...one person at a time, I guess.

My Children Make Me So Proud

So, I work at a home with at-risk children. And there are alot of times that these young children are so very amazing and inspiring. One such time happened on November 3rd.

Here in Maine, as we approach election day, there are signs posted all over in support of one bill or another. One bill up for referendum this year is to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the Maine Civil Rights Act. It would protect against discrimination in housing, education, credit, etc...based on sexual orientation.

As I was driving one of my clients across town, he noticed some of these signs and asked me what each of the bills up for vote were. Being as unbiased as possible, I explained each bill and what each side hoped to accomplish. (Keep in mind this is an 11year old so I was very vague about everything.)

That night as I was finishing a supervised visit between him and his mother, my client noticed several bumper stickers on his mom's vehicle that were for "Yes on 1" (to exclude sexual orientation as a protected class in civil rights). And my client looked directly at his mom and said "Mom, why do you want to discriminate against people?"

I was dumbstruck. I had to hide my smirk so his mom wouldn't see...but as I stood there by my car (with its own "No on 1" sticker in the back window) it was obvious which side I was on. Inside I was cheering my client on. His mom ignored the question and hurredly left the visit.