Ou puis-je trouver du lumieres.

There are times when the light shines so bright and you think you can float on a beam of it and not worry. Then there are times when the beam just dissappears and darkness fills the spaces left  behind. From where does the beam of light come from in the first place? How can I get there?

When Time Stops

And the time shall pass, and all petty issues will be left  behind. What there was won't matter, nor will what you have. Who you were will remain and shall determine your reward. Who you were friends with doesn't matter. Who you were mean to and who you loved will matter though. Life is a treasure, but only if you really live it- not pretend to live it by filling up existances with stuff. Have a meaning and a purpose. Create substance. Depth. Desire. Gain Knowledge and remember Truth. There will be no end- there only is. Use it wisely.

Rejecting ideas of gender...

Today, I made a break through in terms of the gender dichotomy. For those who don't know, I absolutely hate the belief that there are only two genders when, in fact, there are numerous others.

Today while at my town's Public Library, I was next in line at the front desk and the lady (yes, I know- I gendered this library staff member) behind the desk asked me, "Can I help you Miss?"

Now, you should know that I wasn't in drag. I wasn't in a dress. I wasn't wearing makeup. I didn't have my hair in pigtails or braids. I didn't stuff my shirt for the appearance of having cleavage. I was dressed as I normally do. I had on a plain sweater and blue jeans with a scarf.

After I spoke, the librarian (again...a gendered term.... we need some gender neutral words for people and their professions) very quickly apologized for calling me "Miss" and was very visibly flustered. I laughed and told her it was ok and proceeded with my purpose for going to the library. She wouldn't let it go. She had to come up with an elaborate story about having something in her eye all day and about not being able to see correctly. (An obvious lie as I had just observed her helping several other people and she had absolutely no problem seeing what she was doing or in finding small print on papers for them.)

So, this all brings up several important questions.

1- Why did she feel the need to go to such great lengths to apologize for and excuse her percieved incorrect use of gender identifying titles?

2- If gender labeling is so important to how people intereact with other people, and if I wasn't trying to confuse anyone about my gender then how did she make the "mistake" she did?

I mean, such a large part of our personal interactions deals with "correctly" assigning a gender to everyone we come in contact with. Ambiguity causes discomort with most people. So, we become experts as labeling people as one gender or the other (yes- I purposely stated this as a dichotomy). I wasn't purposely trying to cause ambiguity. Yes, I was wearing a scarf and yes the sweater I was wearing was maroon (both things are given the norm as being female, more often than not) but still. I could have done so much more to cause confusion. IF WE ARE ALL SUCH EXPERTS AND ITS SO IMPORTANT- THEN WHY DID SHE "MESS UP"????

My thought is that gender doesn't really matter. The only reason so much importance is placed on it is because of patriarchal heteronormativity. To explain, gender becomes important in maintaining social stratification. Gender is stressed so that men know who the other men are (and what men are "supposed to be") and so that women know they aren't men. These points become "important" when it comes time to hand out professions and wages. These points also become important when it comes time to choose a mate. The creation of gender labels is paramount to the ability for a man to easily seek out a woman and reproduce. It allows for an easy view of who is (supposedly) dominant and who isn't. This also clues into why gay men are stigmatized so much. Its because they choose to ignore some of the rules of gender. (Also note that lesbians aren't as stigmatized because in this male-dominated culture, what women do, so long as it doesn't interfere with men, doesn't matter.)

So, lessons that can be drawn from all this? Well, I could give some- but that wouldn't leave much room for all of you to add in your opinions. Also, I don't think I'm in a position to be teaching lessons yet- give me a few years on that. I definitely don't have the answers. This all actually was only meant to just be the story- I didn't mean to go off on the lecture.

Regardless, please create discussion!!!

Silence

 And then silence fell upon the land and there were no sounds at all. No animals made a noise and the rivers ceased to babble. No shouting did the children make. All joyousness was gone.

     The eternal hush was unbearable. It pressed on everyone as if in a room whose walls were closing in. It was useless to resist though. Try as they might, all were helpless to break the seal. And try, many did. Vainly. Desparately. Wearily. But to no avail.

     Sitting there rehearsing a perpetual inner dialogue that refused to usher forth from their mouths, many wondered how this had happened. Why had no one seen this coming and why nothing could be done.

     Know this, that in hindsight, much is made clear. What seemed to be something so small and unmenacing, what seemed to be the problem of someone else, and what seemed to only affect others- can quickly take over. When nothing is done about the small it becomes large. Overpowering it soon becomes. Taken away are liberties, freedoms, and rights. Enslavement ensues.

   So, if in the course of your life you have the chance, defend humanity for all of us and speak up. Help protect the basic rights of life, freedom, peace, and happiness. Don't expect someone else to do it for you. For it may well come to be that you are stuck in silence with no power to create even a sound when just a short time ago, a storm you could have created.

     That storm, you must be now. Connect with the hearts of others and go peacefully into a future rich in sounds. Rich in human rights and diversity. Rich in life!

Elements

I want to breathe clean air. To feel its power. Let it blow over my body.

I want to bathe naked in the ocean. To feel the cycles of the water. Let it wash over my body.

I want to lay in the dirt. To feel the life it contains. Let it rub into my body.

I want to run my hands through the fire. To feel its heat. Let it warm my body.

I want to know true, unselfish love. To feel its touch. Let it recharge my body.

I want...to feel...let it reawaken my senses...reawaken me...